BLUE MONDAY.

WORKING THE KINKS OUT...

HELLO AND WELCOME To the first of (hopefully) many “Blue” Monday installments of SEX WITH ME IS RAD- “the Love Blog That Loves You Back!”

That’s right, gangsters, I am about to embark on my first foray into the seamy underbelly of the human heart commonly known as the human crotch.

The question for this extra special Blue Monday edition reads as follows: How do I get a nice boy who just wants to hold hands and make love to tie me up and spank me?

DAMN! Good Question, Filthy Dude(tte)!

Ok. Well, you have a nice boy. Good for you. But he seems to be a bit ‘Nilla. This is less good for you- you have chosen the sex equivalent of the cookie equivalent of the Necco wafer. Some part of you may think:  why do they even make people this way anymore? But they do, and you like him for whatever reason. You probably even like him because of the outside potential that you can corrupt him and turn him into, at the very least, a Mint Milano.

(Cookie Metaphor. . .OVER).

The real problem here isn’t that you want to do anything outlandish. The problem is that you may have someone who is inherently incompatible with you, sexually speaking. When you take someone who is naturally submissive, and ask them to be dominant, there’s just no getting around the fact that you are, in fact, the dominant one in the relationship.

Which means that you need to ask yourself: why do I like being tied up and spanked so much? If it’s simply because you like the sensation of being tied up and spanked, your problem is easily solved- you simply train your nice boy to pretend to dominate you. You start out slow and work the bondage routine into the bonding.

In this scenario, You and Mr. Love-Makey are role playing in the most literal sense of the word. He is no more your dominator than he would be Minnie Mouse in a catholic school girl uniform if that’s what you guys were into.  

If what you really need from bondage play is the feeling of being dominated, you are in for a much trickier search for sexual gratification.  Simply finding some nice boy and telling him to tell you what to do to you isn’t gonna cut it- what you need to look for, dear asker of sex questions, is the mythical “gentleman on the streets/freak in the sheets.”  This is a boy who seems nice and submissive…until the bedroom door closes. These types exist, but they are very difficult to identify. This is because kinks are elusive qualities. They tend to dwell in the nether regions of the consciousness and often lie dormant and even undetected.  And people lie about them, both negatively and positively.  

And,  as much as I like to think I can read people like so many graphic novels, people’s true sexual proclivities  are, sadly,  a mystery until you actually, um… proclive with them. So what does that leave us with? Love. Yup. Once again, I find myself advocating for True Love, because if you find true love, the worst case scenario is you’re just that much less likely to care that nice boy’s mouth isn’t as commandingly filthy as you might like it to be. Best case scenario- you unleash his inner freak and he will soon master the fine art of telling you exactly how you want your ass to be smacked. Either way- training and perseverance are key. That, and taking all the other ass numbingly fantastic advice I have given you in the past. And…IN THE FUTURE!

Until then, I wish you the best of sexual luck from SEX WITH ME IS RAD- “The blog that says as much as it cares...which is more than you think!”